She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
