who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
