I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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