some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
