remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
