i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Buhtt sex?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
