I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Naked Twister starts at high noon
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
