Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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