don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
