then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize