Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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