i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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