Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
