my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
