Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
