My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
