If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
