I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
