yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
