woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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