It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
