Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
