The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
