I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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