hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
