You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
