I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
