The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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