We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
