it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
