all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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