Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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