when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
