You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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