Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
