i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
