its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
