I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
