then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
