So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize