Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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