I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
