rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
