We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
