Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Randomize