and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
