sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i dont even know how to be here
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
