yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
