Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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