Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
