We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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