Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
