..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
