she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
