He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
