i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
