Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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