I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
