either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
did i walk over a car last night?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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