there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize