sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
