The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
