You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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